The Choice of King Elessar
by TrinityC
Summary: How can Aragorn choose between the two halves of his heart? Slash!
1. Part One: Aragorn

Author: TrinityC

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Tolkien's, not mine.

Author's Note: Written for Rhysenn's Alliance of Elves and Men challenge.

**The Choice of King Elessar**

Part One: Aragorn

It is only now that it is all over that I realise all my troubles were not put to flight with the destruction of the Ring and the defeat of Sauron. I have never tasted a victory so bitter, so hollow. For it is only now that I am King that my heart is become the battleground, and I must make the cruellest choice of all: Arwen, my Queen, or Legolas, my brother in arms. How can I choose between the two halves of my heart?

Were I not King, were I a simple Ranger still, the choice would be no less cruel, but at least it would be fair. But King I am, of the ancient line of Kings, and I must consider my duty more than my heart.

Duty binds me to Arwen. I must secure the fragile peace we have won, I must beget heirs so that the lands of Middle-Earth will never again be leaderless. I must be the strong and noble King with his beautiful, devoted Queen by his side, and half of my heart rejoices that I have the love of such a woman as she. But the other half weeps for the loss of its own desire, before I have even made my decision.

If I choose Arwen, Legolas will hate me for the rest of his days. He will not wish to; he will hide it and deny it, but he will never be able to stop it. The hatred and bitterness will eat away at him whether he wills it or no. Indeed, I can already see it beginning. I can see the betrayal shadowing his face, drowning his eyes; it will not be long before the coldness fills him completely. He knows my duty as well as I, but even he cannot help the feelings in his heart. I have faced down countless nightmares made real, but never would I be able to meet Legolas' eyes and tell him I have chosen Arwen over him.

I love them both equally. Arwen has been my light, Legolas my strength, through the dark times that shadowed our world. Each in their own way they have guided me to the destiny I never wanted, giving unfailingly of their love as I struggled to come to terms with the burden that was mine alone. Arwen has been my lodestar since I was twenty years old and newly come into the knowledge of my inheritance. Her endless patience, her timeless, selfless love, have guided me through all my trials, always reminding me that there is still hope as long as the Evenstar smiles down upon me. And Legolas has been my friend, my companion, my brother in arms, for almost as long. It was only after the Fellowship set out from Rivendell that I came to realise that our long friendship was turning into something far more, something all the more beautiful because it was forbidden to us. Grief for the loss of Gandalf first drove us to each other's arms, in the tranquillity of Lothlorien, and from then on Legolas became my fire, my passion, my driving force. His presence near me, his eyes upon me, became enough to ensure that I kept going, never faltering, never failing. He was the only one to see the despair that I often could not fight off, and he drove it away with his touch, his kiss, and the white-hot flame of his love for me.

How can I choose between them, when without either of them I should surely have failed?

If I choose Legolas, Arwen will leave with her people. She does not have to make her decision until her father comes to leave Middle-Earth. She will return to Rivendell and await the final days of her people, and then she will sail to the Undying Lands and her broken heart will heal. Legolas does not have Arwen's choice. He is no child of Elrond; he cannot choose a mortal life, and all too soon he would lose me to age and death. Better to end it now than to prolong his suffering and watch his heart begin to splinter as I draw my final breaths.

But can I condemn my own heart to that long, slow splintering? Whichever I choose, half of my heart will die on that day, and the remaining half will slowly fall to bitterness and resentment. Better to choose neither - or both. And yet what rational thought is still left to me tells me that will be worse. To make both of them believe that I do not love them enough, or to force them to share my love; both would be mortal insults to those I hold dearer than my own soul. And I am so tired. I have a kingdom to rebuild, people to guide; there would not be enough of me left to give to them. They each deserve all of me, and I cannot give it to them both.

My people, too, deserve more. They deserve a King they can look up to, a figurehead upon which to focus their respect and their love, someone who can lead them out of the dark times and into the light of the new Age. A King who keeps a Queen and a lover, no matter how secret, will inspire no respect. Secrets have a way of getting out. And how could I ever hurt Arwen, expose her to ridicule, by keeping a lover? How could I ever belittle the love I have for Legolas by keeping it a secret, something to be ashamed of?

I feel as though I stand upon the peak of a mountain. A step in any direction will plunge my heart into certain death, but I cannot stand here for ever. My choice must be made, but Valar help me, I cannot see which way to turn. 


	2. Part Two: Legolas

Author: TrinityC

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Tolkien's, not mine.

Author's Note: Written for Rhysenn's Alliance of Elves and Men challenge.

Thanks to those who have reviewed!

**The Choice of King Elessar**

Part Two: Legolas

I do not think that anyone has yet noticed that I am spending less and less time in the company of the new King. Except Aragorn himself, of course. He notes my absence and knows the reason for it, although I think he has misinterpreted exactly why I prefer to spend time on my own that I previously would have spent with him.

I have always known and accepted his destiny, better at times than he himself has. And I have always accepted that his duty is not to me. Estel has always been my hope, but I never dared hope that he might himself be mine. Even in the dark times so recently over, when we turned to each other for strength, and love, it has never been far from my mind that soon his duty will call him and he will leave me behind.

I do not think he realises this. I have seen him watching me, bleak sorrow in his grey eyes, and I know that he is agonising over having to tell me that he has chosen Arwen, not me. Yet I have always known it. From the day I met him I have loved him, and from that day too have I known that he will never truly be mine. It touches me to think that he believes that my hope could be so strong, my love so blind to the realities of life.

I think he has forgotten that I have duties of my own. I too have people who need me. I must return soon to my father's kingdom, no longer Mirkwood but Eryn Lasgalen, the Wood of Greenleaves, named, it seems, for me. There is much to do there now that the shadow of Sauron has been lifted from our fair lands.

Besides, I promised Gimli that we would travel together, when all is over. I must visit the caverns at Helm's Deep with him, just as he must accompany me to Fangorn. It will, I think, provide me with an easy escape from the crushing sorrow in Aragorn's eyes, and the almost irresistible temptation to take him in my arms and try to erase it, to give him strength and hope as I did so many times on our long and perilous journey. I am only sorry that I cannot leave before the wedding, and so make his choice easier. Though it will half kill me to see him wed Arwen, I am so happy for them both, that after their long years of waiting and hoping that their love was not in vain, they can finally take their rightful place at each other's side. And I love Arwen like the sister I never had. I would not miss her marriage for all the world.

No, I will see them wed, I will rejoice for them as their old friend and companion should, and then I will leave Minas Tirith, and never look back, never see them again.

But I will never forget. Not as long as I live will I forget the love I hold for the King of Men, or the love he came to hold for me. 


	3. Part Three: Arwen

Author: TrinityC

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Tolkien's, not mine.

Author's Note: Written for Rhysenn's Alliance of Elves and Men challenge.

Hugs to those who have reviewed! You're all lovely!

**The Choice of King Elessar**

Part Three: Arwen

It troubles me to see Aragorn and Legolas both so unhappy, in what should be the happiest time of all. On the day of my arrival at Minas Tirith I noticed it, though they each try to hide it when they speak to me.

I know what pains them; I have known it for years, although Aragorn himself never did. I have watched their friendly affection for each other grow into something far more, and now I see when they look at each other that Aragorn has finally realised that there is room in his heart for someone other than me, and that that place has long been filled without him even knowing. I would be lying if I denied that I felt jealousy, but it is only a tiny stabbing compared to the joy I feel that my lover and the one I love as my third brother have found the love that was waiting to happen between them for so long.

And now I watch them as they prepare to sacrifice themselves to duty, each believing that a solution which makes them happy must surely be wrong. Aragorn tortures himself with his inability to decide between us, thinking always of our hearts and never of his own. Legolas has decided to be noble, to leave us to our lives together as soon as is polite, and return to his father's realm; he too thinks of us before himself. My heart mourns to see their suffering.

I am a sensible woman. Never would I force Aragorn to choose between us, for I believe he has enough love in his heart to give us both more than we need. But he will not see it, so bound up is he in the duties and responsibilities that go with kingship. He cannot see that an arrangement could be made which would be beneficial to all three participants in this little triangle of love.

Aragorn has his duty to his people, to marry and produce an heir, and be the King this land so sorely needs. Legolas, too, has a duty to his people, to help them rebuild Mirkwood into Greenwood the Great again. And I have my duty too, which I think they have both forgotten. I have already made my choice, and although it breaks my father's heart, when he comes to leave Middle Earth I will stay, and renounce all allegiance to him and to the Elves who are my kin. My destiny lies in the world of Men, and my duty is to be a wise and gentle Queen, and to bear heirs to the throne of Men.

We must all do what we must, but where is it written that we cannot also be happy? If Aragorn chooses between Legolas and me, we will all be battling against misery for the rest of our days, for the bitterness of the choice will poison us all. Far better for an arrangement to be made.

Legolas will travel with Gimli and return to his people. Aragorn and I will wed and have children, and lead the world of Men into the glory of the Fourth Age of Middle Earth. But when our obligations are fulfilled, there is nothing to stop us seeing each other again. I have heard talk already of a colony of Elves being founded in Ithilien, and I am sure that a few words in the august ear of Thranduil of Eryn Lasgalen will persuade him to send his own Greenleaf to lead that colony. And what could be more fitting than that the neighbouring leaders should visit each other to seal their alliance and keep it green and growing?

I will admit to feeling a small satisfaction that it will be me who has most of Aragorn's time. I would not be alive if I did not. But it is only small, as small as my jealousy, and the one will soothe away the other. And over all will be the joy that all of us will have what makes us happiest. Aragorn will have his Queen and his Archer; Legolas will have his King and his almost-sister; and I will have my King, my children, and the brother I could not bear to lose.

Now all I have to do is persuade them of the wisdom of my solution. I do not think it will take much, for both of them are secretly desperate for a way out of their troubles. They cannot find it themselves, so I will give it to them, and with it my blessing of their love.

*fin* 


End file.
